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Chapter Three: Arcanum Ananasium

The Elders decide that the only way they can overpower the magicks of the Pineapple enough to summon the heroes is to delve into the very power that blocks them: The Black Arts of the Pineapple.

To do this they need the only tome in the entire planet that carries the words of the Pineapple: Arcanum Anasium. The book was locked deep within the planet eons ago, before the Pineapple was banished from all of cosmos to the remote corners of the universe and thought all but vanquished.

With heavy hearts, the Elders set out on a journey to the core of planet, passing through hallways rigged with magickal and technological traps to keep away the intruders. The further they go, the heavier their spirits get and the more each shadow seems to be staring at them. Soon, they begin hearing voices and one by one the group is devoured by insanity.

Only one of the Elders makes it to the end and with trembling hands he opens the tome. The moment he does, he realizes its wicked power is more than he can handle. With all his might he struggles against the Pineapple's corruption long enough to cast his spell, amplified by the book enough to reach the heroes and wake them.

Confident that his spell made it through, in one last act of defiance, he slits his own veins before his will would succumb to the power of the Pineapple and he would become its puppet.

lyrics

-- Arcanum Ananasium --

Ja niin vanhimmat syvyyksiin suunnistivat
Planeetan sisälle läksivät
Läpi luolien loitsuin suljetuin
Jos' ei miesmuistiin kaikuneet askeleet

Ja pian varjoihin valo hiipui...

Läpi seitsemän suljetun salvan
Ja riimuin katetun käytävän
Kulki joukko kuiskaukset korvissaan
Kiusanhenki kallonsa sisällä

Ja pian osa heistä hulluuteen haihtui...

Ja vihdoin he halliin saapuivat
Varoitukset mielestään heittivät
Tulta tulella lähtivät houkat haastamaan
Kielletyn kirjan sanoja suoltamaan

Nyt kirjan edessään näkivät...

Arcanum Ananasium

Kansi verellä värjätty
Hedelmämehulla herjattu
Sanat käärmeen lailla kiertelee
Myrkkyä mieleen suoltavat

(Avaa se! Lue se!)

Kirjan avaan, taian tavaan
Loitsun löydän lauseistansa
Riimun kirjon raudan palaan
Vertaisteni verellä

Pahalaisen päässäin kuulen
Kauheuksia kuiskimassa
Veitsen nostan valtimollein
Viillän vielä kun pystyn

Translation:

-- Arcanum Ananasium --

And so the Elders ventured into the depths
Traveled inside the planet
Through caves sealed with magicks
Where no man had tread for ages

And soon the light faded into shadows...

Through seven closed seals
And hall-ways covered in runes
The group journeyed with whispers in their ears
With tormentor inside their heads.

And soon some of the faded into madness...

And finally they reached the hall
Cast away the warnings from their thoughts
The fools sought to challenge fire with fire
To utter words from the forbidden book

And now the book was before them...

Arcanum Ananasium

Covers painted with blood
Covered in fruit juice
Words slither like a snake
Poison the unwary mind

(Open it! Read it! Open it! Read it!)

I open the book, I cast the spell
Incantation I find from its words
I scribe the rune to a piece of iron
with the blood of my peers

I hear the devil inside my head
It's whispering terrors to me
I raise my knife to my artery
And slice while I still can.

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Rahkoi Finland

A mad man with a box, containing a miniature electro-mechanic symphonic orchestra, a bunch of odd space sounds and some synthetic doohickeys of whirl and whistle.

Bombastic, epic, cinematic cheese combined with electronic mayhem and hijinks of dubious nature. What more can you ask for?
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